Loss and Life

“Truly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains by itself. But if it dies, it produces much fruit.” John 12:24

This verse from scripture has been resonating in my heart for the past few days. Endings can be so difficult to process, especially death which is the ultimate end to life as we know it. Although, (fortunately) I have not experienced such a loss, my heart has been mourning the end of many different things in my life. I am mourning the loss of life as a college student and young professional in Detroit. Now that my college career is ending, I am preparing to leap into the field of education during unstable times. With nostalgia, I look back at the days of biking around the city looking for a new coffee shop to study at or finding a bar hosting a techno night. Those days were tinted with a flavor I can’t name, but long to taste once more. Similarly, I mourn the dreams that did not come true and the relationships that have drastically changed. These are a few of the grains of wheat that have fallen and died in my life.

Endings are difficult, but I think the reason why this verse has been ringing in my heart is because it gives meaning to loss—“But if it dies, it produces much fruit…”, there needs to be loss in order for there to be gain. While I may be turning the page, I am excited to grow deeper in my identity as a daughter of God. I am looking forward to growing in responsibility, nurturing the gifts I possess, and stepping into adulthood with hopefully more grace, certain of the value I have to offer.

If you are like me and you find yourself in a period of transition, I invite you to look at the clearing in your life as an area of potential growth. Instead of thinking, “Wow, there used to be life here”, perhaps state something like, “What can grow here?”.

Growing may be painful at times, but I have hope that the rewards are greater.