Uncertainty

I’ve never lived with such uncertainty. Right now the two most important things to me are my relationship and the plan of going on missions. Right now, it is hard to feel 100% certain of either of those. things, right now they seem so dependent on each other. During the past few months a lot has come up to the surface in my life that have caused enormous anxiety, causing me to go to therapy for the first time. The uncertainty in my heart is mirrored by the external turmoil and uncertainty that is so present with the Corona virus outbreak.

In the uncertainty there are some things I know for certain—

I own nothing.

I own not my accomplishments.

I do not own the certainty that my dreams are valid and worth following.

I do not own the certainty and security of what the next few weeks will look like, let alone the next few months. I have no idea if I’ll decide to leave for Romania on missions or if I’ll stay. I have no idea how if I'll even graduate because of the corona virus.

I do not own my opinions and ideals.

I own nothing.

I am along with all of humanity only dust.

In the end of the day we are only ashes.

Dust to dust.



One positive thing I do know for certain is that I am beloved child of God.

I am the Father’s daughter if I stay in Detroit. I am the Father’s daughter if I leave and go to Romania I am the Father’s daughter. If I continue in my relationship. I am the Father’s daughter. If I do not, I am still the Father’s daughter.

I think during this time as I am unsure of who I even am, I can be certain of whose I am.

I am a beloved Daughter of God that’s the only thing I am certain of.